Stuff I did not know

Carrying on with the theme of 'this is bigger', tonight's full moon is to be the largest of the year - 30% brighter and 14% larger from one edge to the other. It's immaterial to me here in Scotland because tonight we have our usual complete cloud cover. If it's clear where you are, though, you might want to go outside and have a look around. From the NASA website:

Dec. 9, 2008: No, you can not see Neil Armstrong's footprint. But go ahead and look: The full Moon of Dec. 12th is the biggest and brightest full Moon of the year.

It's no illusion. Some full Moons are genuinely larger than others and this Friday's is a whopper. Why? The Moon's orbit is an ellipse with one side 50,000 km closer to Earth than the other: diagram. In the language of astronomy, the two extremes are called "apogee" (far away) and "perigee" (nearby). On Dec. 12th, the Moon becomes full a scant 4 hours after reaching perigee, making it 14% bigger and 30% brighter than lesser full Moons we've seen earlier in 2008.

New York is big
.....but this is Biggar

I live down the road from a town called Biggar. South Lanarkshire, here in Scotland. I guess once upon a time a few folks from Biggar moved to Saskatchewan. When they established a town they decided to call it Biggar instead of something catchy like Pile of Bones (Regina, Saskatchewan's name before they decided to call it something that would make schoolboys giggle).

Anyway - the Rector of Biggar, Saskatchewan has a blog called Expanding the Circle and the readers of Raspberry Rabbit (that's all of you - Mom, Dad, Anne, Ruth.....

Karl! stop chewing the Guinea Pig and listen up!
........need to read it.

No, Canada is not Zimbabwe

But to see the Prime Minister asking the Governor General to suspend Parliament in order avoid being subject to its voice can't help but provoke the comparison among the simple and hysterical (i.e. the media).

The GG agreed to prorogue Parliament until some time in January (she must have had her reasons - chief of which being that handing over to the particular Coalition made up of the three other parties would have been unthinkable and we've just had an election.)

The present Liberal leader, Stephane Dion, is a laudable idiot who was put in post to avoid THIS MAN, Michael Ignatieff. Dion's idiocy having now revealed itself in its purity and singularity (best typified by an interview he gave a while back which his opponents have now circulated widely), THIS MAN has now been acclaimed in post as Liberal leader. We'll see what happens.

Maybe Ignatieff's views on torture have been tweaked in such a way that they won't be too much of an affront now that there's a man in the White House to the left of him.

It'll be good to see the back of the present incumbent, however the change takes place. Canadian politicians are responsible for a geographically large and delicately mixed country. The sorts of attacks which the PM has undertaken in recent weeks have done little to pave the way for good government of any sort and won't even end up protecting his precious and fragile ego.

Our brother in Christ, Simple Massing Priest has a good thumbnail of the present political crisis (although the bit about the Anglican wars is a bit of a stretch - just nod politely and ask how the weather is in Winnipeg.)

The rarely-seen and last-known honest man in Canadian politics. Ed Broadbent, spoke out on the subject last week and pretty well summed up the ethics of the PM trying to drag the country down with him when he's in trouble.


By the way - our Governor General is way prettier than the Queen and can do many of the same things (at least in Canada). She could be borrowed by other Commonwealth countries should the fellow with the ears end up not abdicating and actually replacing his mum.

American media is a bit slow on the uptake but they're coming to terms with it as you can see HERE. Starts about 45 seconds in - quite entertaining.

Old Email

InnsServiceSurvey
January 16, 0000 6:14

At InnsService/Bethlehem we are committed to maintaining a high level of customer care from our member Inns and Roadhouses.. On 10/12/01 BCE you, or someone from the same IP address peformed a search for Inns/Roadhouses BETHLEHEM_REGION for the NIGHT OF 24/12/01 AND THREE NIGHTS THEREAFTER for TWO ADULTS arriving LATE AFTERNOON by HORSE/DONKEY

In order to achieve a continually improving accomodation experience for the peak season traveller at competitive rates it would be helpful if you could answer the following questions.

Did your InnsService search provide a satisfactory range of affordable accomodation options in BETHLEHEM_REGION?

Did you subsequently contact any of Inns/Roadhouses provided by the search.

Were individual contact details for the Inns/Roadhouses provided or were you forwarded to other accomodation brokers or accomodation websites?

Did you eventually book accomodation for BETHLEHEM_REGION for the nights in question.

Did you find your reception to be cordial and helpful?

Was the final price the same as listed on the InnsService website.

Was parking/water/fodder for your HORSE/DONKEY included in the price of the room?

Was your room clean and well appointed?

Was your room in the Inn/Roadhouse protected from the noise of animals or local industry/agriculture?

Were security arrangements adequate to keep strangers out of corridors or common areas?

Was there anything else remarkable - either positive or negative - about your stay at a member Inn/Roadhouse in BETHLEHEM_REGION that you think we should know about?

Was the InnsService sign (with logo and contact details) clearly visible at reception?

Did you mention to the proprietors that you had discovered your accomodation via the InnsService website?

We thank you for your time.

Benjamin Ben-Benjamin
Customer Satisfaction Officer

It had to happen eventually. It was just a matter of time. The number of electrons in the world is finite, the number of people with extra time on their hands is not infinite. I'm talking of course about the following hyperlink. If we'd known before we could have had a party. Before you click it I just wanted to say that it's been a slice.......

HERE

According to an article in the Telegraph, these lists are the words which are being taken out of the Oxford University Press' Junior Dictionary and those being put in. Further comment is probably unnecessary.

"Here are the words taken out:

Carol, cracker, holly, ivy, mistletoe

Dwarf, elf, goblin

Abbey, aisle, altar, bishop, chapel, christen, disciple, minister, monastery, monk, nun, nunnery, parish, pew, psalm, pulpit, saint, sin, devil, vicar

Coronation, duchess, duke, emperor, empire, monarch, decade

adder, ass, beaver, boar, budgerigar, bullock, cheetah, colt, corgi, cygnet, doe, drake, ferret, gerbil, goldfish, guinea pig, hamster, heron, herring, kingfisher, lark, leopard, lobster, magpie, minnow, mussel, newt, otter, ox, oyster, panther, pelican, piglet, plaice, poodle, porcupine, porpoise, raven, spaniel, starling, stoat, stork, terrapin, thrush, weasel, wren.

Acorn, allotment, almond, apricot, ash, bacon, beech, beetroot, blackberry, blacksmith, bloom, bluebell, bramble, bran, bray, bridle, brook, buttercup, canary, canter, carnation, catkin, cauliflower, chestnut, clover, conker, county, cowslip, crocus, dandelion, diesel, fern, fungus, gooseberry, gorse, hazel, hazelnut, heather, holly, horse chestnut, ivy, lavender, leek, liquorice, manger, marzipan, melon, minnow, mint, nectar, nectarine, oats, pansy, parsnip, pasture, poppy, porridge, poultry, primrose, prune, radish, rhubarb, sheaf, spinach, sycamore, tulip, turnip, vine, violet, walnut, willow

And the words put in:

Blog, broadband, MP3 player, voicemail, attachment, database, export, chatroom, bullet point, cut and paste, analogue

Celebrity, tolerant, vandalism, negotiate, interdependent, creep, citizenship, childhood, conflict, common sense, debate, EU, drought, brainy, boisterous, cautionary tale, bilingual, bungee jumping, committee, compulsory, cope, democratic, allergic, biodegradable, emotion, dyslexic, donate, endangered, Euro

Apparatus, food chain, incisor, square number, trapezium, alliteration, colloquial, idiom, curriculum, classify, chronological, block graph"

One more idea for Scottish Episcopal bumper stickers. For those of you not in the UK it's a piss-take on the RSPCA's "a dog is for life...." campaign. General Synod might elect not to adopt it in its present form since it tends to prejudge the whole issue of rectorial tenure.

Still, there are some poignant similiarities: The new priest arrives, he's unwrapped quickly (although the way everybody's been shaking the package to guess its weight and substance it's a miracle the poor man isn't missing his bits). The parents speak sharply about being careful with him.

"We want him to last longer than the last one did", they say.

Billy notes that he didn't look at all like like the one advertised.

"He'll do", says mom, and offers Billy a cinnamon swirl.

Later, the children take their toys next door to show to the Anderson children. Billy's about to haul the new priest out of the bag to show him off, when he notes that Bobby Anderson got a Johnny 7 gun for Christmas which was just as good as the one advertised on the telly, and so he shoves the vicar back into the bag.

A work in progress, then.

Thought for the Day
Good Morning Scotland
Radio Scotland
Thursday, December 4th, 2008

So how do we get to where we’re supposed to be?

My godson is a military policeman with British Forces in Iraq. He finishes his term of service close to Christmas and has a tiny window of opportunity to fly back to the UK and from there to his parents’ dinner table in British Columbia. There may be touch-and-go moments at airports but once Justin is strapped into his seat on the plane he can leave the navigating to the pilots.

Birds seem to find their way by navigating with the help of the stars. And there’s been a story this week of a new theory about how Scottish salmon manage to get from Greenland or Norway back to the exact bit of the Scottish stream where they were hatched. The theory suggests they have a map of the magnetic fields of the earth printed right into their circuits. Not overly clever creatures, salmon, but they know where they’re supposed to be heading.

We don’t all feel so connected to our origins or our final destination either. In December we feel the distance rather than the closeness – distance from other people – and distance from a familiar story of Love and Reconciliation – a star – a baby – a new beginning.

We’ve perhaps just accepted that. It’s the way our cookie has crumbled. But some of us would give our right arm to feel like we were home again - like we were somewhere on the way to understanding that Story –maybe for the first time.

People will come to Church this Christmas seemingly out of the blue. I was always taught that nobody shows up in Church by accident. We are all at the midpoint of some journey. Feeling some longing within us – our perceived distance from our destination we set out to discover our route. We too have a map imprinted deep within our circuits. Or as one African saint, Saint Augustine put it in his Confessions:

'You have made us for yourself, O Lord,
and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you'

The first of our three Advent Studies begins this evening at St James' Penicuik. We're going to discuss common conceptions of the afterlife (as exemplified by the lyrics of a number of songs by the Carter Family) and compare them to what we find in the Gospels and Saint Paul.

I'm making use of an old book - Oscar Cullman's Immortality of the Soul or Resurrection of the Dead and a relatively new book - Tom Wright's Surprised by Hope to see what can be said about our future hope as individuals once the idea of a separable soul going where it naturally belongs has been set to one side.

Quite a touching and worthy article appeared in the last day or two over at Episcopal Cafe on the subject.

Astrud Gilberto
The Girl from Ipanema

Snow has fallen on Penicuik and the sky is blue. Cozy here inside the Rectory preparing for tonight's Advent Study and tomorrow morning's Thought for Today. Time for my favourite winter video. I was around in 1964 but I don't think I'd spend a lot of time pining for the fashions of the time - be they women's hairstyles or men's jumpers (although I do own a button-up cardigan sweater).

Brief side note a propos of nothing: The vanity of American Episcopal clergy knows no bounds. They are notorious for either lying about their ages or posting ridiculously out-of-date photographs on their blog pages or parish website. Scott Gunn must be older than he's letting on because this is clearly him playing the Vibraphone in the background at some point in his life where his mojo was a mysterious thing best left concealed.

We Love our Naughty Vicars

From Martin Beckford at the Telegraph:

"Sunday service attendances continue to fall. Militant atheism is on the march. Government ministers and even the heir to the throne hint that the established religion could lose its privileged place in society.

Yet one aspect of the Church of England retains its power, one side of it still has a hold on the public imagination. I refer of course to the naughty vicar, that figure of fun beloved of sitcom writers and seaside postcard illustrators who comes to life occasionally to delight tabloid editors and horrify churchgoers."

Read the rest HERE

Thank you Fr Heron

Thanks to Scott Gunn for bringing this oldie back from the recesses of everybody's memory.

The combination of an overnight snowfall coupled with a broken water main on the A702 leading into Edinburgh has left any number of people at home from work today. Edinburgh, interestingly enough, doesn't have any snow at all. The ducks were out having a great and noisy time. They jumped up and down complaining about the ice covering their water basin. The cockerel charged out into the snow once the little door was opened. As I write, the hens are still cautiously putting their heads out the door, changing their minds and climbing back onto their perches.

I spent the better part of Friday morning in the Immigration offices in Glasgow having my application for Indefinite Leave to Remain dealt with by the staff there. The application was dealt with promptly - the staff were very friendly - and the results were such that I now have a piece of paper with a hideous photograph of myself over the words Indefinite Leave to Remain and Settlement.

One of the reasons that the application was dealt with as quickly as it was had to with the fact that the immigration offices were nearly empty. They had postponed the appointments of a whole series of people who needed to submit applications for Further Leave to Remain as either students or spouses (either of UK nationals or spouses of folks with Leave to Remain) People in these categories will now be issued mandatory I.D. cards, you see, and they weren't yet ready to process such folk.

As I was sitting there waiting to have my financial records perused and my excellent letter from the Bishop read by the staff there, I noticed a large room which was furiously being readied with a large picture of a finger-print on the door.

In other words, it's started! The much hated ID cards which have the backing of almost nobody are finally being introduced. The very first category of people to receive them will be those applying for FLR in these two categories.

One of the rejoinders by government is that security measures and legislation which have been introduced over the last few years will not be abused. We can sleep safely knowing that the idea of a Big Brother State looking over our shoulders and using their powers for nefarious ends is a figment of a dissatisfied imagination - doomsaying - science fiction - can't possibly happen.

Those of you who are not in the UK or who may have been engrossed with the goings-on in Mumbai (and Thailand and Nigeria) might have missed the recent story of the arrest of a fairly mild mannered senior member of the opposition - the Tories' Immigration critic. He was doing what opposition politicians generally do which is to position themselves on the receiving end of material from within government departments sent down the tube by like-minded civil servants. They then poop these embarrassing bits out during Prime Minister's Question Period and everybody goes "oooh". It's what Gordon Brown made his name doing during his time in Opposition.

Well in the case of Damian Green - the Conservative MP - the claws definitely came out. Doing what basically amounted to his job ended up provoking a near simultaneous raid on his home and his office at Westminster. Nine members of the anti-terrorism squad showed up at his house. His crime? Well - he has been on the receiving end of information from within government ministries which proved embarrassing to the government.

Matthew Parris screams the loudest amongst the mainstream media

Sam Coates Red Box Blog in the Times online is worth a read as is William Rees-Mogg.

The Guardian (the Labour Party in Print) soft peddles the political connection and blames the police for a simple and innocent overabundance of zeal

First Sunday in Advent

Thought for the Day

Good Morning Scotland
Radio Scotland
Friday, November 28th, 2008

An exhibit on the History of Pantomime opens tomorrow in Edinburgh. All those famous Dames and baddies from across the decades. While Grand-dad might get all nostalgic, the children would prefer you kept the yearly ritual going by dragging them off to a real live Panto this winter.

You’ll be surprised how they know the plot already and what’s supposed to happen next and how they fit into their role as audience like a hand in a glove They know how it’s supposed to work

At the end of the evening when they’ve been pacified and put to bed in spite of all the sugar coursing through their veins – when you’ve finally combed the last of the popcorn out of their hair and you’re alone with your cup of tea at the table you might secretly wish that the plots in life were not so fixed.

Conversion. Recovery. Repentance. Hope. These all involve a departure from what everybody expects.

“I’m going to stop drinking”

- Oh no you’re not!

I’m going to learn to trust the people I work with

- Look behind you!

This new American administration may change the way America is viewed in the world

- Oh no it won’t!

In spite of the financial crisis I’m going to try and make time for my family

- Oh no you won’t!

You can feel it, can’t you - the suspicion that everything must remain the same?

The little producer sets his desk up out there in the seats during rehearsals and keeps yelling at you

- Yo, Twankey, keep to the script, dammit”

But isn’t that why the people gathered on high ground to hear Jesus speak. Or why the Hebrews agreed, grudgingly or not, to leave Egypt and walk East through the desert to the promised land?

Because some day the script could be different.

Because the force of habit is not one of the laws of nature.

Its grip on us may not be legitimate.

Men and women can be better than they thought,

They can be freer than they’ve been told they are allowed to be.

The Annunciation. The Birth of John the Baptist

Waltz with Bashir

It was my day off yesterday - interrupted a bit by a funeral (that I was attending but not officiating at) so I hit the cinema afterwards. I see films on Mondays which I don't think my lady wife would like. Last week it was The Baader-Meinhof Complex which I may write about later this week since it's still percolating in the back of my head.

Waltz with Bashir is probably one of the better films I've seen for a while. An animated film provoked, as its creator explains, by his inability to remember large segments of his military service in the Israeli army in West Beirut at the time of the massacre of Palestinians by Christian Phalangists in the refugee camps of Sabra and Shatila.

It's not until an old army buddy recounts a series of enigmatic dreams which he has been having that the narrator realizes that other than a scattered series of visual images he can remember almost nothing about his proximity to a horrifying event which took place over a period of 24 hours only hundreds of yards from where he had been deployed as a young soldier. It simply wasn't 'stored in his system'.

Rather than leave it in the shadows he begins a pilgrimage through Israel and across Europe to remake the acquaintance of everybody he served with who had survived the '82 war in order to put the pieces back together.

The mind, you see, is creative. It both erases and supplements. It protects us from what could not possibly be the case since we are moral creatures. As such, memory itself needs to be judged and checked. There are moments of considerable violence in the film - softened by the fact that this is animation.

As cliche as it may sound - the medium here is the message. Memory draws reality quite roughly - bends bits of it - is primitive and plastic - it lightens the load of what would, if filmed or, worse, experienced again in its full brutality, be too heavy a load to carry.

A good film. Worth seeing.

Something for Advent

This video from the dashboard-cam of an Edmonton, Alberta police cruiser caught a meteor strike in the area. It seemed vaguely seasonal: A city, slumbering - life carrying on as usual - the suddenness of the light.

The Piano in the Woods

- From CNN

Was it a theft? A prank? A roundabout effort to bring some holiday cheer to the police? Authorities in Harwich, Massachusetts, are probing the mysterious appearance of a piano, in good working condition, in the middle of the woods.

Discovered by a woman who was walking a trail, the Baldwin Acrosonic piano, model number 987, is intact -- and, apparently, in tune.

My money's on elves. It has to do with the elves. You know the old story: the sounds of delightful singing in the forest. Humans trudging and tripping through the bracken to discover the source of the music - they get just a glimpse of the charming circles of elves dancing and singing and the *poof* and the elves disappear leaving the humans with a story which everybody else pooh-poohs and attributes either to drink or an overabundance of childish credulousness.

Well sir, in a day when, curiously, Churches and Cathedrals respond to dwindling congregations by installing massive tracker organs against their west walls and spending mega-bucks on professional music programs it appears that the elves too have fallen victim to the mantra of 'standards, standards, standards'. No elf choir is complete nowadays without its Baldwin Acrosonic.

Except that when the elf choir goes *poof* the evidence remains. Once again the pursuit of excellence finds itself in conflict with First Principles.

It's gonna take some re-thinking, this one.

Conrad Black writes from the hoosegow.....

I suspect that were a parole board asked to determine whether Mr Black had 'reformed' in any way the response likely be a unanimous chorus of ..........."maybe not quite yet".

Some howlers from the article he's written from prison "From my cell I scent the reeking soul of U.S. justice" which appeared in today's Sunday Times:

"Many of the other co-residents are quite interesting and affable, often in a Damon Runyon way, and the regime is not uncivilised."

"I wish to advise Lord Hurd that when I return to the UK I would like to take up more energetically than I did initially his request for assistance in his custodial system reform activities. "

"Obviously, the bloom is off my long-notorious affection for America."

Like any good psychopath, Mr Black remains completely convex in his being. He bulges out and not in. He is undaunted. The hyperbole continues to spew forth in a veritable torrent. He will be vindicated - he will advise governments - the crowds will come flocking and the money will come flowing in.

This acquiescence to the will of his enemies is merely temporary. His case is 99% won already. The letter confirming this is in the post.

The membership list of the British National Party was recently leaked to the internet. It contained the usual coterie of thick-necked individuals with a single eye in the middle of their foreheads. It also contained the names of a few police officers, a couple of doctors, a nurse and three vicars.

Bishop Alan writes that none of the three are CofE vicars and that one name was simply erroneous. More here on one of the named vicars with additional comments about the list in general.

Everything is being either downplayed or played up depending on who you are but it did bring to mind the famous scene from Father Ted where he stands behind an unfortunate smudge on the window and gesticulates towards a couple of Chinese visitors who he has invited to the rectory on Craggy Island.

The first clip is HERE. It makes the following video more comprehensible.

If you have a favourite Canadian (even expatriate Canadian) religion/philosophy blog you can vote for it HERE. Your humble servant's meagre offering appears somewhere on the list of about twelve nominees.

We are now in round one. I guess they'll come up with a short list so you might need to check later to see how the Rabbit has fared in the first round.

Should you tell your friends to tell their friends? You might want to do that.

I could not possibly comment.

Thought for the Day

When I was the port chaplain in Montreal I sat around with a Filipino crew who described the precautions they had had to take against pirates in the Straits of Malacca.

I’d thought pirates were a thing of the past.

 

Right now there is a standoff taking place on the East African coast where an immense oil tanker has been hijacked by Somali pirates. It’s being anchored off a coastal region which has now become dependent on piracy and its by-products. Houses are being built, children are being schooled and infrastructure developed based on one single industry – the seizing of valuable goods and the ransoming of the lives of seafarers.

Many of Jesus’ parables are stories about human need. An outmatched king is forced to negotiate with an opposing army. A poor widow loses a valuable coin. A man walks through a field and discovers a hidden treasure in the ground that is his for the seizing. Rich and poor – there’s something we need and for which we will expend tremendous energy to either gain it or retain it.

Any parable written about this act of piracy would doubtless link three needy groups of people: the seafarers, first of all, not knowing what will become of them in all of this. Then there are the ordinary people of poor and war-torn Somalia who had long watched the riches of the world passing in front of their shores just beyond their reach. 

The third group of desperate people? That would be you and me. Much of the optimism of the last twenty years has been based on the idea that the world is one big market and that all our lives are bettered by global prosperity.

Well – it seems not to work that way. The rising tide hasn’t floated all ships. Quite naively we have paraded our wealth in the face of crushing poverty and then wonder why somebody would simply seize what comes within their grasp.

This bit of history has reminded us how needy we are too and how fragile our way of life has become.

A comic strip about today's Gospel reading from the folks at AgnusDay

Not that I'd win or anything but I could be nominated for the Canadian Blog Awards even though I'm an expatriate. There is a religion and philosophy category.

Just saying......

When we had behaved ourselves in school we were allowed to watch films sometimes on a Friday afternoon. It was a different age - boys were allowed to play with knives, lonely men operated light houses on the East coast of Canada and small boats fished for codfish in the Gaspe. It's one of the two or three bits of primary school education that I remember. The film is called 'Paddle to the Sea' (National Film Board 1966) and it's based on a book of the same name which was written in 1941.



Part Two is HERE
Part Three is HERE

or the whole film (slightly better quality) can be found HERE

A later generation's NFB childhood can be found HERE - an animated film called 'The Hockey Sweater'

Updated to include a link to the sermon



Frances McLean was buried today from St James' Episcopal Church here in Penicuik. The coffin was welcomed into the church last night, covered with the funeral pall and installed in the chancel with the Easter Candle. A number of people who were unable to get away from work for the Requiem elected to show up last night along with a few who just wanted to be there. We had about 35 in attendance. Tony Bramley conducted a brief service which included the Sentences from the Burial Office along with a few prayers - both formal and informal. It was Bonfire Night here in the UK as well. As Tony led the coffin in there were bursts of fireworks coming from the hill behind the church - 21 gun salute? Celebrations in heaven? A good touch all round.

The Bishop celebrated the Requiem Mass today, I preached and the ample congregation was in full voice. The hymns had all been chosen with an eye to Christian Mission. I hope she'd have approved.

Frances was buried by Philip Crosfield (our now most senior Nonstipendiary priest) in Rosebank Cemetery in Edinburgh where her grandfather and great grandfather are buried. It was a cold and clammy day - lots of mist in the air and very grey. It was everything a burial in a Scottish graveyard ought to be. No worry, though: there has been enough light and warmth over the years and even during the day itself to cover any amount of clammy mist.

An article from the Edinburgh Evening News.

Comments from one of the choristers at today's funeral about the placement of bodies in the chancel.

Clergy Conference at Pitlochry

It's an annual affair here in the Diocese of Edinburgh for the stipendiary clergy of the Diocese. Though we're not spread out all over hell's half-acre like the clergy of some regions of the Canadian north it is nonetheless true that we hardly ever get to see each other and this is one opportunity when we do. A few clergy never show up. I guess that's par for the course. We had about 35 clergy in attendance this year.

We get some sort of off-season deal at the Atholl Palace in Pitlochry. The conference has been there each year since I arrived and I must admit I rather like the venue. There was a nice break in the rubbish weather for a couple of days (though it was rather foggy in the mornings) and we took our traditional long walk along the Tummel River up to the reservoir behind the dam, followed by an equally traditional trip to the Whisky Shop on the High Street.

Some years we've had speakers. This year it was decided that we wouldn't and the jury is still out on whether that was a good idea.

There was to be a discussion on the Anglican Covenant followed by or at least mingled with discussion about the professional development of the clergy and pastoral care of same. It was clear on the opening evening that the programme needed some tweaking/revision and the gathered clergy made their views on the subject known. The programme was duly tweaked.

Discussion of the Anglican Covenant was limited to about 30 minutes in the course of the three day conference which is about 20 minutes more than it deserved (my opinion).

Issues relating to the pastoral care of clergy got most of the remaining program time. It became clear (and I guess that we all knew this beforehand) just how lonely a life many of our colleagues lead. That, along with the fact that we don't take very good care of each other in the Church, are the sorts of things things that you know to be the case but which people are reluctant to talk about. Sorta like an 'elephant' in the room.

The word 'elephant' was used rather a lot - referring always to those things which a substantial presence in the room but which are simply not spoken about.

Malcolm Round, the Rector of St Mungo's Church in Balerno thought it a shame that he actually has a picture of himself riding an elephant and no blog to show it on.

I received it in an email last night and I include it below. Think of it as part of a programme of informal pastoral care of the Rector of Balerno.

R.I.P

Frances Ellen McLean
1921-2008

Frances McLean died in the Royal Infirmary last night at about 7:30 pm. She has been a non-stipendiary minister at St James and St Mungo's for many years - ordained to the priesthood in her sixties following a long and varied ministry including many years as a missionary nurse and midwife in South Africa.

Frances underwent a major operation on Tuesday for an aneurysm of the aorta. She rallied initially and then began to fail on Wednesday morning. She was visited by the Bishop at around lunchtime and received the Sacrament later in the afternoon. She'd had occasion to ask her nurse whether it was expected that she would survive and was told that there were grave concerns as to whether this would be the case. She was surrounded by friends up until the time she died. At nearly 87 years old, Frances died "in the saddle" - involved in an active ministry to "old people" for whom she was an enabler and a source of spiritual comfort and with questions as to who will do her work now that she's gone.

I'd say a pretty good innings by any estimate.

One of my colleagues here in Edinburgh Diocese mused in a public forum the other day about whether she should abandon her Parson's Pocketbook (that comforting symbol of God With Us when carried in the hand of a clergyman/woman on the rounds of the hospital or the neighbourhood - for a Filofax (probably a black one looking like the monolith in the opening of 2001 A Space Odyssey).

I have no doubt that there are even other clergy eager for preferment with eyes darting back and forth who've switched to something electronic, allowing them not only to manage their contacts and arrive at appointments in a timely manner but to profit from those long walks along hospital corridors by finally achieving the status of Jedi Knight of Orath-Ping in world seven with extra ammunition for their Circadian Orc Slayer.

It never ends, does it? All this innovation!

Real priests carry paper! No pasaran!

Proud owner of a greenhouse

After all these years. I purchased it second hand on Ebay and drove down to Livingston today to disassemble it. I have absolutely no clue if I'll be able to put it back together again. On the plus side, there was no glass breakage. On the minus side - I note that there were a few bits which had bent nicely together and belong together so that even if most of the uprights and roof slats are identical they now belong in a certain relationship to each other.

I will let you know how it goes. I shall be heading off to my yearly clergy conference on Sunday and returning on Wednesday. That's when the fun begins.

It was once said of Canada that, had we played our cards right, we could have had British government, French culture and American know-how. Instead we got French government, American culture and British know-how.

With respect, then, to the latter: Citizens of the very same nation which invented Spam (the luncheon meat) and scattered their Mars explorer in tiny bits across the dusty surface of the Red Planet are now turning those prodigious skills (normally reserved for taking a common-sense approach to road repairs) to tackling God. The British Humanist Association, Richard Dawkins and an assortment of other luminaries are conducting a campaign during the Christmas shopping season to get the 'atheist' message slapped on to the sides of busses in London for four weeks. It will cost around £11,000 and they are raising £5,500 by way of donations from the general public. Dawkins, I gather, is putting up the rest.

At first glance one is not struck by the ... um.... boldness of the campaign. I could sit down with a few of my vicar chums and we could come up with something witty and memorable and which meant what it said.

"There's probably no God?"

And that's the best they can come up with? That would be like a church commissioning a great big banner to evangelise the neighbours and carefully printing out the words

"Jesus is quite possibly Lord, don't you think?"

or

"Your mother might have been right - someone could be watching"

I'd have loved to have been a fly on the wall at the planning meeting.

So what do you say - in the spirit of Ecumenical good will just prior to Advent shall we give the atheists/agnostics a hand and come up with some better slogans for them? I mean we'd have no scruples about attending a Presbyterian Coffee Morning or sitting on an eco-justice committee with the local rabbi!

The atheists have raised all the money they said they needed and the charity regulator will get all fierce and thump them if they spend much more than they (clearly!) have already on creative work. They need our help!

Approachable? Possibly not....

Yet more hopeless overstatement from a man in a woolly jumper: an article in the Telegraph says that, according to a 'leading theologian', all the regulations forcing clergy to wear robes are clearly out-of-step with the 21st century. Clerical robes reinforce the hierarchies of a bygone age and make clergy less approachable.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain, however: "Leading theologian" morphs seamlessly in the course of the article into "Tutor at Wycliffe Hall, Oxford" where the woolly jumper and the beaten down trainers are taken as a sign of holiness and a rich inner life.

Robes, we are told, build barriers.

Bollocks!

My daughter Hannah, aged 16 months sat on the carpet at the back of the church where the then Bishop of British Columbia was decked out in his best duds waiting for the processional hymn to begin. She grabbed a handful of his costly and well-embroidered cope, stuffed it into her mouth and began to chew.

Overdressed or not he seemed palatable enough to her at the time!

The log driver's waltz

Something I'm practising up for this Tuesday's meeting of the Penicuik Folk Music Club.

A Sermon for Sunday
the 19th of October, 2008

Proper 24

The Service can ge found HERE.
The sermon begins at 11:22 on the counter.

Exodus 33:12-23
1 Thessalonians 1:1-10
Matthew 22:15-22


Wouldn't it be grand if everybody wished you well.

It doesn’t always work out that way. The more we engage with life – the more we open our big mouths – the more we stand up and make ourselves counted the greater the possibility that we will develop a group of people around us who don’t fancy us in the least.

With some of them you can come to an understanding. You can keep out of each other’s way. Others are not so easily persuaded. They’d just as well see us take a dive and if it ended up that they were the ones who gave us a little push well then so be it. It’s like that in business. It’s like that on sports teams, clubs and associations. I wish it weren’t so but it can be like that in community organizations and churches as well. When I was the chief executive of a charitable organization in Montreal I developed a few foes on the board of directors. I remember my father patting me on the back and saying that I’d finally ‘arrived’. If you don’t have a few enemies, he said, you must be doing something wrong.

We are at a point in Jesus' ministry – in this morning’s Gospel reading – where opposition to his ministry has finally crystallized. He now has opponents and they are waiting for one wrong move on his part which will allow them to pounce. They continue to take part in discussions he is having with disciples and enquirers. They are there on the sidelines. Their questions are not designed to enlighten or inform. There is no genuine information being sought out. They are questions designed to trip Jesus up and embarrass him. We see such questions asked in political debates – questions which have passed through a committee before one candidate ever gets to ask them of the other. Questions designed to be unanswerable without cost. We see such aggressive questions asked in civil court as well. In this case the question is asked about the payment of taxes to the occupying Roman government. Is it permissible to pay taxes to your political and religious opponent and still remain faithful? In order to answer the question Jesus asks for a coin to be handed to him. Everybody waits for his answer – much will depend on his answering the question correctly.

I have such a coin at home – a silver denarius. It’s surprisingly small – smaller than a UK penny. My coin has the head of Trajan on it. The coin which Jesus was handed would likely have had the head of the Emperor Tiberius stamped on one side. Printed around the head would have been a few letters – abbreviations, really – which read “Tiberius Caesar – Son of the Divine Augustus”

And so Jesus is being asked here whether or not a piece of propaganda used to proclaim that Tiberius was the son, if not of God, then of 'a god' could be used by Jews, disciples, followers of Jesus or not followers of Jesus to pay their debts. A trap, certainly. What sort of trap is it?

Jesus has been proclaiming the imminent reign of God – the presence ahead of us, around us and within us of the Kingdom of God. It’s something which pious Jews had been expecting in the future but which Jesus proclaims as something which is already being revealed in tantalizing tidbits. It’s within us, or among us or around us but it is definitely present whenever and wherever Jesus is present. But Kingdom is a loaded word. Herod the Great initiated a massacre because of the rumour of a king being born in Bethlehem. When Pilate is asking Jesus whether or not he is a king he has a clipboard out with a piece of paper on it with a question and two little boxes – one of which should be ticked by the questioner: Does the accused claim to be a king – yes or no. At this point the Pharisees are losing patience with Jesus and their relationship with him has passed some sort of threshold a few chapters back. They are no longer his friends and are wanting to set up some situation where he will be either revealed to his own disciples and followers as a fraud or to the authorities as a risk. Much is at stake. Tax revolts were not unknown and the Roman response was swift and deadly.

If taxes can be paid to the emperor using a coin with the emperor’s head and a phrase denoting that the emperor is the son of God or at least the god Augustus then the religious life Jesus must be promoting is a privatised sort of thing which intersects only lightly with the real world. Believe in God and follow me, Jesus might be saying, but let life go on as it usually does. Jesus could then quite rightly be accused of trying to promote a hobby – something which let life go on largely as it did before and his positive answer to the Pharisees’ question – yes, everybody should pay taxes, even my disciples - would reveal this to be the case. Let’s see if he answers yes, say the opponents, and then we pounce.

But if he says no – my followers should not pay their taxes with a coin that declares the Emperor to be the son of God then he’s gone the whole hog with the idea of kingship. He’s like the radicals who have gone before and who have led the nation into disastrous conflict with Rome. His followers are members of a kingdom which is not part of the Roman Empire. Their allegiance belongs to God alone and to the Kingdom of his Christ and not to Tiberius Caesar. We can pass his name on to the relevant authorities. He can be arrested in the night as a tax rebel and a dangerous character. Either way we win. Either way he’s finished. We’ve got him

Jesus hands back the coin. Render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s, he says. Render unto God the things that are God’s.

It’s a trap cleverly avoided. But it’s not merely clever. Our children respond with clever phrases. I said I would do my homework but I didn’t say exactly which homework I would do and when. I said I would clean my room but I didn’t specifically mention the part of my room which is under my bed. Jesus is not merely being clever. He is not merely ‘dodging’ the question.

Jesus has always maintained that the Kingdom is like seed cast into a field. It is like yeast hidden inside a lump of dough. In like manner his followers are cast into the world – are part of village life – are part of the world’s life - unconformed to it but living within it. Eventually, to Pilate’s great frustration, Jesus will tell him that his Kingdom is not of this world. It is not Kingship as the world understands it – neither the authority of the reigning King or the rebellion of a pretender to the throne. Jesus wants no standards, no armies, no coins printed with his face. It is something other.

In this ‘other’ understanding Caesar’s coin will be returned to him to pay for roads and navies – returned freely as something owing him. You will pay your taxes though you are a follower of Jesus and a believer in God. And – in 2008 you will avoid the temptation to withdraw into the close confines of the sect. As Christianity may well have reached Great Britain in the person of Roman soldiers who were Christians so christians from your church will serve as elected councillors in local government. The Christian will wheel out his bins on a Tuesday morning shoulder to shoulder with the neighbour who is not part of the community of faith. We understand not only our responsibilities to the larger civic community around us we understood that it was intended that it be this way – that we be sent forth into the world to bring the message of God’s salvation into the marketplace, the school we attend, the workplace we frequent.

No clever dodge whatsoever on Jesus part but an explanation as much to the disciples as to his opponents that we are more than rebels. We are disciples.

Overheard at coffee time after Church....

In Japan:

- the Origami bank has folded.
- there's something fishy at the Sushi Bank
- The Bonsai Bank is cutting back.

I was holding court in St Mungo's Church on Saturday when the folks there decided that they were tired of me and so they gave me a window to decorate for Harvest. I'm not completely displeased with the results.